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Florida Man Claims to Be Charles Dickens While Drunk, Pantsless, and Holding Wine
A pantsless man with a flair for fiction was arrested this week after allegedly parading around a parking lot in nothing but a T-shirt, two bottles of wine, a can of beer, and one very bold lie.
When police arrived around 2 a.m. Wednesday, 56-year-old Vincent Conroy greeted them in full frontal honesty—except when it came to his name. He told officers he was none other than “Charles Dickens.”
Pinellas County FL Sheriffs
Unfortunately for Conroy, his Tale of Two Identities didn’t hold up under scrutiny. After a quick check, police discovered his real name and promptly charged him with: Open container, Exposure of sexual organs, Providing a false name to law enforcement.
Officers noted that Conroy was visibly intoxicated and made no effort to cover himself up while wandering the lot. His drink of choice: a mix of cheap wine and canned beer, proving once again that bad decisions pair well with bad beverages.
After spending a night in the local county jail, Conroy was released the next day on his own recognizance.
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