Hello Fargo, I am Lionel Bruce Sheila and I am the King of all the Tiger cats in the world. I’m a solid 15 pounds and my vet says I have huge paws and likes to give them a good shake.

I very much enjoy hunting my mother in my free time. I like to leap over my father every night onto Mom’s head every night when the greebles come out and steal my food. She LOVES getting up multiple times in the middle of the night to put an extra nugget of food back in my bowl. She knows I’m the one who always takes the Night’s Watch to keep an eye on the neighborhood. I also don’t kill spiders-I just tell them jokes until they die laughing. I’m supposed to get five bucks a week for my hard work but I have yet to see a nickel of it. You know how these two-leggers are. Always saying they’ll pay up for our services then using my cash for cheezborgers.

I hoard my treasures like a big orange dragon. Mom and Dad will never find my blue necklace, my best friend, ‘Dead Guy’ (random plastic great white shark I found myself) or my Pippy Longstocking wig. I only like to be Santa on Halloween. The cape is cool Mom, the purple braids are not, lap lady.

If you enjoy fancy party boys, I am the fanciest of them all. A vote for me would be much apurrciated. I don’t care too much if I win but if I do, I’m going to buy myself a skateboard and a jet pack. Much luck to all my gorgeous brothers and sisters out there and may the best cat win!

Just look at my bleb, will you?! I’m the most handsome dude cat on the Earth!

Lionel Bruce Sheila