Sure, anyone can fake manners when they’re trying to impress a first date—or charm their way into a hookup. But real thoughtfulness? The kind that feels effortless and second nature? That’s usually taught, not faked.
Licensed couples therapist Nari Jeter, LMFT, and cohost of The Coupled Podcast, told SELF that genuine courtesy is often drilled into guys by their older sisters. Think: holding doors, carrying heavy bags, showing up on time—basic respect that somehow still feels refreshing.
When you grow up with a sister who doesn’t tolerate rudeness or thoughtlessness, you learn fast. Because she didn’t just expect good manners—she enforced them. And that’s how some of the most genuinely thoughtful men are raised—not by chance, but by big sister boot camp.
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