Due to his recent passing, Chuck Norris Jokes are having a moment again.
Here are some of the best:
1. God said, “Let there be light.” Chuck Norris replied, “Say please.”
2. Most children check their closet for the boogieman every night. The boogieman checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
3. Chuck Norris built the cabin he was born in.
4. When Chuck Norris plays dodgeball, the balls dodge him.
5. Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to season his meat.
6. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the face. We now call those animals “giraffes”.
7. Chuck Norris is the only person who can slam a revolving door.
8. Chuck Norris doesn’t do pushups. He does Earth-downs.
9. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
10. Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
11. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
12. Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
13. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
14. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.
15. Chuck Norris once ate a Rubik’s Cube and pooped it out solved.
16. If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they fought, they would both win.
17. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
18. Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
19. Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
20. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
21. Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
22. Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
23. Chuck Norris can make a snowman out of fire.
24. Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
25. Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
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