It’s Science! Cat Buttholes Don’t Touch Every Surface In Your Home
A science fair project from Kaeden Henry (a 6th Grader at the time) gave us the answer to a question no one asked out loud but everyone has secretly wondered: “Does your cat’s butthole touch every surface in your home?” Spoiler alert — no, it doesn’t. And yes, science was involved.
Armed with curiosity, some non-toxic lipstick, and two cooperative cats, Kaeden teamed up with his mom, Dr. Kerry Hyde (who just so happens to have a Ph.D. in animal behavior, specializing in feline behavior — no, really) to tackle this burning issue for his homeschool science fair project.
Here’s how the “Cheeks On Surfaces” experiment went down:
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They applied a dab of non-toxic lipstick to the cats’ … exit zones.
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The cats were then guided through commands like sit, wait, lie down, and jump up — all performed willingly with plenty of treats and praise.
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After 10 minutes, the lipstick was wiped away, and the data was examined.
Findings:
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Long- and medium-haired cats: Zero contact. Not even a smudge on hard or soft surfaces.
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Short-haired cats: No contact on hard surfaces, but a faint smear appeared on soft bedding — likely due to the material’s give and squish.
So unless your short-haired cat is lounging belly-down on your laundry pile or unmade bed, you can rest easy knowing your furniture is probably not getting butt-stamped.
Kaeden walked away with a solid A+, a viral science fair project, and the eternal gratitude of cat owners everywhere. And honestly? He may have just done more for public understanding of feline hygiene than most Ph.D. dissertations.
But my question as a dog owner is, what about the fecal matter on the feet of the cats from the litter box?
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