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BULLYING: The Story Of Carly

by Zero

This is BULLYING AWARENESS MONTH on The Y94 Morning Playhouse. We are asking members of The Playhouse Family that have dealt with bullying to share their story to let others know that it does get better. 

Young or old, bullying is never ok. Share your story by emailing Zero at zero.wday@mwcradio.com

All names can be changed to protect the author's identity -- 

This is Carly's Story -

I'm 26 now. So you would think that I would maybe not still be haunted by things that happened, in some cases, over a decade ago. But. I am.

I don't know why I was such a scared child and teenager. I think I was just nervous. Social anxiety maybe? I didn't have many friends and didn't know how to make friends. The longer you don't have friends and the longer you are a outcast, the harder it gets. I one time tried really hard. I reached out, I tried to participate. It just didn't work. I quickly made an enemy who made it their daily routine to torture me in new and exciting ways.

If I was lucky it was just a shove in the hallway. I would spend the day looking over my shoulder just waiting for this person to strike. I felt like school was a warzone and I was the only one in my army.

It took many years awkwardly stumbling into friendships before I grew out of the awkwardness and felt like I had matured to a point where I didn't need to be scared anymore. Usually, I'm alright. But I would be lying if I said there isn't moments that I revert back to my former self and find myself extremely anixous of a social situation. A little part of us will always be 12, 13... 15 years old. And that little part will be scared sometimes. I often find myself convincing my 15 year old self that we are someone new now. With new friends and a new life. But when you have been so awfully tortured... post traumatic stress disorder, of sorts, occurrs. 

For those that bully. Stop. Please for the love of God stop. You don't know what you are doing or how badly you are hurting someone. Your "jokes" could be hauntng them 20 years from now.

For those being bullied. I promise. You will be surrounded by better people some day. You will get stronger. It hurts now and while you won't forget the pain, use it. Learn from it. Learn exactly who you are and who you DONT want to be.